Weekly Expressions #6 ~ BK

Weekly Expressions #6

The long since abandoned halls of the once glorious estate now sat in disrepair. Holly ran her fingers along the banister as she climbed the steps that creaked under the slightest pressure. Her childhood had been here. Long were the days she would spend roaming the mansion of her youth. The days spent here were glorious. Carson waited for her outside. She had begged him to stay away. This was something she needed to do alone. She had spent too many years trying to remember that awful night but with no luck. It was just buried too deep. At least, that was what the doctors all said. None had given her any hope of coaxing the forgotten memories out. They all said it was for the best to leave it where it was, in the past.

But she could not let it go. It had consumed her! Her childhood had died that night. There was no use in pretending it did not happen. All she had left to do was to face this demon head on and finally be free of it’s grasp.

But then, would a new demon arise in it’s stead? What if not knowing was better than knowing the truth about what happened?

She pushed the thought aside and continued down the long hall, past the bedrooms that had once housed her closest family. A tear fell down her face as she passed her brother’s and sister’s rooms. A smile replaced her sorrow as she recalled their last Christmas spent together. Two months before the tragic night. They had spent the best day together as a family. So many smiles were shared that day. She was glad that her Uncle had found the box of heirlooms and pictures before the looters had scavenged the last of the Montgomery household fortune. So many of her things were lost that night. She truly lost everything. Her family was destroyed. Her things stolen. All she had left were her memories and even those were beginning to fail her. Ten years had been a long time to remember childhood memories. She prayed she could at least hold onto that one Christmas day. She put her hand on the doorknob to her old room. It was the room she shared with her three younger sisters.

She took a deep breath and opened the door. An odd sense of nostalgia filled the air. That or it was the settled dust now floating through the air from a door opening for the first time in years. She coughed as she waved the dust away. A ratty old quilt lay over the dilapidated bed frame and a hollowed out mattress.

She remembered her sisters cuddling into bed with her. Wait, had that been a new memory? Holly shook as she remembered feeling her sisters trembling bodies on either side of her as they listened in silence as the boots walked down the hall, through through each room. An odd sound had sent the girls flying into her bed.

Holly shut her eyes and tried to focus. The sound. It was almost like a scream yet cut off too early to be recognized for what it was. The boots echoed down the hall and stopped short outside her door. She threw the covers over her head as she listened to the girls whimper.

For a brief moment she thought perhaps it was father’s work boots but what would father be doing this late at night? Or perhaps early in the morning by now? They heard the door open…

As if someone had turned the television off, the memory faded from Holly’s mind.

“No!” She cried out as she fell to her knees. She pried open her mind and searched for the last bit of memory. She needed a face! It was the only thing they needed! The police had investigated that night for years after the fact and to this day, not a suspect was to be found.
She had to bring that man to justice! For her family! She needed to remember him so she could finally put it all to rest! Sobs escaped her throat as the thought came across her mind. What if she never remembered? What if she lived another 80 years and died a happy person but without that one memory she so desperately sought? Could she even be happy without it?

Would she be happy with it?

She stood to her feet and faced the cobweb covered mirror. Someone in the mirror intrigued her. She wiped away enough of the cobwebs to see her reflection.

A gust of wind blew through the broken windows. Weeds that grew up through the floorboards waved in front of her. Her hair blew around her. She looked back at the mirror and stepped back with a gasp. It was her!

But not as she would see herself today. It was her younger self.

Ten years younger, to be exact. How she would have looked on that night. The white nightgown blew in the wind.

That was right, the window had been open that night. She was looking at herself in the mirror when she saw him…

The shadow behind her. The face…

She screamed and fell backwards as the face etched itself in her mind.

She opened her eyes. She was back outside in Carson’s arms. “Are you ok?” He asked. She nodded and stood up beside him. “The demolition crew is here. They are ready to start when you are.”

She nodded and he waved at the men to begin. As they watched from a safe distance, the wrecking ball flew through  the house sending shards of glass, roof shingles and rafter beams through the air. She opened her mouth to confess what her mind had finally released to her.

“Carson, I was right.”

“About what?” He asked, worry etched across his face.

“The truth is more than I can bear.”