Weekly Expressions #1 BK

Weekly Expression #1

By Beka K.

The Autumn air reminded her that winter was fast approaching. She planned to spend the whole day out here. She laid her knapsack on the ground littered with fallen leaves and shed her black coat as she took a seat on the stone bench. She could feel the strands of hair falling out of her once tight braids that clung to her head. A month of working and little sleep had left her emotionally and physically exhausted. She laid her head on her arms and let the sobs that had been building up over this last month finally be free. Her sleeve quickly became drenched with her tears. Why had life been so cruel to her family? The tragic death of her father had dealt a terrible blow to them in these already hard times. They had no time to mourn. Her mother began working more hours in the day and she forced herself to watch her small brothers during the day as her mother worked. When her mother came home at night, it was her turn to leave and go to work. But it was what they had to do when her father's income was cut off from them.

She missed her father dearly. He was always there for her and the rest of her family. The little ones adored him. She tried to act like she was too old for hugs and kisses but even at eighteen, she still desired his affection. And now that he was gone, all she wanted was one last hug. The thought of never getting another hug made her sobs become uncontrollable.

An image of Carter Smith flashed through her mind. She had been so busy she had nearly forgotten about him. His handsome features and smooth black hair that swayed in the wind would stop her heart. Everyone teased her about him. They all said he fancied her but she was either to blind or too love struck to actually see it.

What if her father hadn't died? Would Carter have pursued courtship with her? She killed the thought then and there. She was too busy to be courted. But then she wondered, how long would she work herself? To her own grave? Would she ever have time to be courted?

Carter never showed any other girl in the town as much attention as he had her.

She was lucky to have the mayor's son nearly throwing himself at her feet.

She laughed...If only!

The sobs became to dissipate and she felt herself beginning to calm down. She left her things where they were and began the short walk to his grave. The air whipped her hair and made her shiver. She wrapped her arms around herself and dropped her to her knees before his grave.

Father. Brother. Husband.

1885-1900

Why was this happening? Would she ever know the answer?

She heard the sound of leaves crunching underfoot as someone drew near to her. She was lost in her sorrow, she dared not look up for fear that whoever it was would see her puffy red eyes. She felt him lay a hand on her shoulder. It was a gentle yet strong touch. Strong than a woman's. She fought the fear and looked up.

Carter stood above her, his hand still resting on her shoulder. He looked solemn and respectful. His head was bowed and his eyes closed. She placed her hand over his and for a few silent moments they both stood there.

“Laura...” He finally whispered as he knelt beside her. “I must speak with you. I am so sorry about your father. I tried to see you as soon as I had heard of what happened but I realized you needed to be with your family. I have tried to give you space these last few weeks. I can only imagine how hard they have been on you.”

She tried to conceal a whimper. She did have feelings for this man.

He continued after a pause, “I want to help you, Laura. And not just you. But your family as well. I don't want to see you or your mother working yourselves to death. It breaks me to see how hard you think you have to work. I know I haven't been very clear with you the last several months but I will be clear with you now. I like you. And not just like you but I think I'm falling for you. And I want the chance to court you and get to know you better. And to help you have time for me,” He winked with a smile, “I'm taking care of the income you used to get from your father's hard work, plus some.” He said with a little tease. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. His hand drew closer to her and she nearly pulled back. He tenderly wiped her tear away.

He smiled with a tear of his own. “Say something.”

“I would like that very much.” She laughed and cried at the same time.