Weekly Expressions 3.1 - JRK

                                                                   Weekly Expressions 3.1

“The Mind Reaper” 

By J.R.K

“You were never meant to save them…”

    Joshua Stillman dropped the pile of papers back onto his desk, not even bothering to return them to the case file. He had had enough of the endless details and useless facts. Twelve years and he was still no closer to apprehending the shadow that haunted him. Twelve long years of restless days and watchful nights. Still he was no closer to discovering the truth.

He gathered his belongings and shut the light off as he left his office. All the lights were off on this wing except for the offices that the night custodian was still cleaning. 

He pulled his jacket tighter around himself as he hailed a cab, thankful to get out of the cold. Winter in Chicago was frigid but there was still no sign of snow yet.

Thirty seven minutes later they were pulling into the driveway of his home in the suburbs. He paid the driver and began the walk to the front door. It was dark out. Darkness always unsettled him. 

There wasn’t much in this world that reminded him he was home than that first moment you walk into a warm home with all the lights already on and the smell of dinner hanging in the air. After living on his own for seven years, he never got tired of this feeling of serenity when he stepped across the threshold. No matter what the stress of the day brought, it all melted away when he got home. 

He set his keys and wallet in the bowl on the table by the front door. He unclipped his badge and added it in with the contents. It will be fifteen years with the bureau next month. The last thirteen years had looked vastly different than his first two. But those two years were too painful to keep remembering. 

He walked into the kitchen to see Martha drying the last of the dishes. “Evening, Martha.”

“Oh, hello! Long day?”

“As usual.”

“Well, dinner is in the microwave.”

“Thanks. Where’s Emma?”

“Just putting a movie on in the den.”

“Thanks. Have a great weekend.”

“You too, Mr. Stillman.”

He nodded and left the kitchen. He’d be lost without Martha’s help. She was the perfect candidate for a nanny. Sure, Emma was old enough to take care of herself but he didn’t want Emma to be alone and he didn’t think either of them could ever part with Martha. She meant too much to them. She had retired from field work and was getting bored sitting behind a desk when Joshua came to her with her new assignment. Twelve years and she worked harder than ever for him and Emma. She was warm and gentle and so full of wisdom. A great mother figure for Emma to grow up with. It was his one regret over the years, not settling down. He was so focused on Emma and his cases with the FBI to find a wife. Martha did more than enough to fill the gap...at least that’s what he hoped for for Emma’s sake. Anyway, it was too dangerous to bring in another person when the threat still hung above them. 

He unloosened his tie as he took the four steps down into the den. 

    Emma smiled up at him. “Hi, Dad!” 

    “Hey, kiddo. What’s on the menu?”

    “Martha made lasagna for dinner. I’ve got popcorn ready and I’m just trying to pick between the sequel to that mummy movie or the new Max Montanna movie.”

    “Sounds like a great night.”

    “Rough day at work?” 

    He smiled as he fell into the couch beside her and wrapped her in a tight hug. She was very perceptive for sixteen. She cared for him just as much as he cared for her. In that way they made an inseparable team. “Seems like everyday is a rough day lately. I’m just glad that I have you to come home to.”

    Emma sat backup and pointed to the screen. “You pick the movie tonight.”

    “Max Montanna! He’s my kind of hero!”

    “You just like him because he’s an agent.”

    “Hey!” He pretended to be defensive as he threw his hands up. “I’ve got to have role models too.”

    Emma laughed as she pressed play and the two settled back into the couch. 

    Joshua pulled his shoes off and rested his feet on the ottoman. He knew he was drifting in and out of sleep and missing the movie but he couldn’t help it and Emma didn’t seem to care.

Something thudded and Joshua jumped, his heart racing instantly. Emma seemed unphased as she stared at the TV screen. 

    “What was that?” He asked.

    “Probably the movie or the cat…”

    She wasn’t concerned as she answered, seemingly on autopilot as she focused on the TV. 

    Joshua finally pulled himself up off the couch and headed to the kitchen. His stomach rumbled, reminding him that he hadn't eaten since lunch and it was now well past eleven. He pressed the numbers on the microwave and left as it turned on. He saw the cat sleeping on the edge of the counter and promptly returned the cat to the floor. He looked out into the hallway and saw the bowl from the table by the door had been knocked over. He sighed, annoyed to keep cleaning up after the cat. He picked up his wallet and keys and placed them and the bowl back on the table. After ensuring the front door was locked he returned to the kitchen. Something caught his eye towards the patio. The sliding door was open and the screen door ajar. He slipped on his mud boots by the back door as he instinctively reached for his gun. He quietly walked out onto the patio. He stood silently in the night, mostly listening for any sounds out of line. 

    The air was completely still, almost too quiet. His heart rate increased as he settled his breathing. It had started snowing at some point after he had gotten home and so far half an inch had accumulated and covered the patio and yard. He scanned the area as he stepped down the couple steps into the backyard. The moon was full and with the slow falling it was much brighter than usual. 

    He canvassed the backyard, gun drawn just as he had done a million times at his job. It was second nature and only left a little discomfort by the fact he was doing it in his own home. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last.

    A stick cracked and he whirled around.

     He stood straight and relaxed his posture as he lowered his gun. 

    “Stillman.” His neighbor said blankly.

    Heat flooded his cheeks. “Hey, Mike.”

    “Easy with that thing, will ya? Just put the kids to bed.”

    “Sure thing. Sorry. Have a good night.” He threw his hand up and Mike just waved him off as he ushered his yappy little dog back into the house. 

    “Oh, Josh? Did you get the package left by the delivery guy?”

    “What package?”

    “Saw a delivery guy leave something by your gate.”

    “Thanks.”

    “No problem.”

    Joshua walked to the gate and opened it. He stepped out several steps, confused that nothing was on the ground. He sighed, thinking maybe the delivery guy realized it was the wrong house or Martha had intercepted it. Joshua turned back around and froze. Fear etched into his soul faster and deeper than anything he had experienced in years. A black smeared handprint was slapped onto the wooden fence. The feeling of a rock sank into his stomach as he lurched forward through the gate and back towards the house. 

    He had spent twelve years studying that mark from pictures of a night that haunted him and now it was back. And at his own home no less. His worst fear was coming true and he had left Emma alone in the house!  He threw his hand out to open the door but slid into it when it didn’t open. His feet slipped out from under him and he fell to the ground on his side, covering it in snow. He clambered to his feet and pulled on the door. It didn’t budge. 

    He wouldn’t have locked it when he was inspecting the backyard, he knew he didn’t. He banged on the glass door, heart pounding as he waited but Emma didn’t come. He didn’t waste another moment as he slammed his body into the glass, shattering it. He shook off the broken glass as he ran through the house and back downstairs into the den. 

    He jumped the last two steps.

    Emma sat on the couch, eyes glued to the TV as she munched on popcorn.

    A shadow hung above her.

    He flipped the light switch on which revealed nothing. He blinked as he tried to dispel the fear. Emma seemed fine. Nothing appeared to be in the room. 

Emma sat startled, blinking in the bright light. He ran to the TV and turned it off. “Didn’t you hear me banging on the door?”

    “What’s going on?” Emma’s eyes widened as she watched him dart across the room, gun drawn as he checked every corner. Yet there was nothing here.

    “Come with me.” He waved for her to follow and she did so silently. They made their way back upstairs.

    “Are you trying to burn the house down?” Emma brushed past him and ran to the microwave that was leaking out smoke. He hadn’t even noticed it when he came back inside. He had only set it for a couple minutes. It shouldn’t have caught on fire…

    He wanted Emma to stay behind him but she quickly went to work to dispel the smoke, now billowing out of the tiny space. She grabbed the fire extinguisher and aimed it at the microwave.     “What happened to the back door?” Emma asked as she doused the little fire. 

    He was already heading into the rest of the house to make sure it was safe. He couldn’t focus on answering her, not until he had checked each room. He ran upstairs and found their bedrooms empty. He quickly returned to the kitchen to help Emma, satisfied that they were alone. 

    “What’s going on, Dad?” 

    He looked into her scared eyes and felt intense shame. There was so much he hadn’t told her…

    The doorbell rang and Joshua ran to answer it. Two uniformed cops stood behind his supervisor. All three had their guns drawn. 

    Stan Monroe looked just as relieved as Joshua felt as he answered the door. “A neighbor called in some suspicious activity. Naturally I was alerted. Everything okay?”

    Joshua just shook his head as he stepped aside and let them enter. He left them and popped his head into the kitchen. Emma was busy sweeping up the broken glass. 

    Stan stood next to him. “What is it, Josh?”

    “It’s him…” He whispered. “The Mind Reaper.”

    “Are you sure?” Stan’s face went white.

    “He left his calling card on my side gate.” he shook his head, not wanting to believe it. “I thought he was inside.”

    “You two double check the house.” Stan ordered and the two officers went to secure the house. Stan placed a hand on Josh’s forearm which made him notice the tremor in his hands.     “It’s okay now.” Stan reassured. 

    “Dad?”

    Joshua looked up as Emma hesitantly entered the living room. Her arms were wrapped around herself. He returned his gun to the holster and pulled her into a hug. 

    “What’s going on?”

    “I’ll explain everything soon. I promise.”

    “Josh, I think we should send you both to a safe house for a couple days so we can do a thorough sweep of the house and neighborhood. We have had our plans in place for this scenario. There’s nothing to worry about.” 

    Joshua nodded and turned toward Emma. “I need you to go get a bag packed for the weekend.” 

    Emma nodded and ran upstairs. 

    Stan placed a hand on Joshua’s shoulder. “We’ll catch him, Josh.”

    “That’s what we said last time. He’s been running free for twelve years.” 

    “And one of these days he’s going to slip up and we’ll be there to catch him when he does.” 

    “Yeah but how much longer will that take? Emma and I got lucky with ten years of peace. Other than that little incident when she was six, we’ve not had any idea that the Reaper was even looking for us. But she’s getting older. She needs a normal life. Not one with all these lies and secrets.” Josh collapsed on the chair and buried his head in his hands. “I’m afraid I can’t always protect her.” 

    “Josh, look at me. You have protected her better than anyone else. You have gone above and beyond the call of duty for her. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

    “I never told her.”

    “Good. She didn’t need to bear that burden as a child.” 

    “Yeah but how do I tell her now, Stan?”

    “You just tell her. She’s mature for her age. She’s ready to handle the truth.”

    “I’m not sure I am.”

    “Of course you are. Don’t tell me my best agent is going soft. Now pull yourself together and grab your Go Bag. A car will be here in ten minutes to take you to the safe house.”

    Joshua nodded and went upstairs. He pulled his go bag out of the closet. He left his room and walked down the hallway to check on Emma. her backpack was open and half filled with clothes. More clothes and toiletries were strewn about the bed. “Almost ready?” He asked gently. He could see the tears in her eyes. 

    “I’m not sure what to pack.” Her voice broke as her body wracked with sobs. 

    He dropped the bag by the door and sat next to her, wrapping his arms around her. “Shh, it’s going to be okay. We’ll just be gone a couple days. There’s a cabin where we can go camping for the weekend. It will be fun.” 

    “I just don’t understand.”

    “I know. I promise I’ll explain.”

    “No, not about that.” 

    “Then what?”

    “Why I’m crying. I trust you and Uncle Stan. I’m not afraid. I had a bad dream last night. I guess I just can’t shake it.”

    The sinking feeling in his stomach returned and he held her tighter. “It’s okay.” But he didn’t feel the assurance he was trying to convey. He was starting to piece together the facts and it scared him. 

    “Car’s here!” Stan called from downstairs. 

    “We gotta go.” Joshua stood and helped her throw the last of her things into the backpack.         He carried both packs as they went downstairs and Emma went to the closet to retrieve her coat. 

    “Stan…” Joshua leaned closer to whisper. “I think I might know what’s going on. Those dreams she had as a little girl, I think we were right. It was him. I’ll know more when I talk to her later. What makes this guy like to mess with people’s minds?”

    Stan shook his head. “The sooner we find out the better. I’ll stop by tomorrow afternoon and we can talk then. Get a good night's sleep.”

    Emma handed him his coat and they headed out to the car. Joshua stopped by the table by the door to grab his wallet and keys and stuffed them in his pockets. He touched the empty bowl. Something wasn’t right.

    “What is it?” Stan asked.

    “I’m not sure.” 

    “Get going then.”

    The two left the house. The street was mostly quiet other than the officers outside their patrol cars. Red and blue lights flashed across the street as they got into the car and drove down the street. 

    Ten minutes later they were nearing the edge of town. Joshua glanced at Emma who was fiddling with her fingers and staring out the window. He reached and took hold of her hand in his and offered her a reassuring smile. She smiled back but he could tell she wasn’t convinced. 

The car was stopping. Joshua looked forward, expecting to see the red light or stop sign. Instead he watched the driver turn and fire a taser. Joshua felt the electricity flood his body.

    Emma screamed. 

    Through the pain he tried opening his eyes. The driver was reaching back and covered Emma’s mouth. She slumped over next to him. The driver turned and Joshua felt his own mouth get covered before he drifted off to unconsciousness. 

Part Two

    Something stung his cheek but his eyes felt too heavy.

    “Wake up.” The command was stern and cold. Another sting hit his cheek. 

    He pulled himself out of the deep fog and opened his eyes. The lights were dim but what he could tell by the floor and the dank smell he was in a cellar. A man stood in front of him, his hands rested on Joshua’s wrists which were zip tied to the chair’s arms. His feet were zip tied to the legs.

    “That’s more like it. It’s time to get started.” Joshua didn’t recognize the man in front of him but he for sure recognized Emma’ who was strapped down to a chair across the room from him. Her eyes were wide and tears fell down her face. A strip of duct tape covered her mouth. He noticed there was duct tape over his own mouth.

    He couldn’t help but yell out a slur of curses towards their captor even though he knew the man wouldn’t understand. 

    “You talk too much, Mr. Stillman. Or should I say Miller? It’s been a long time since the field office in Dallas. Yet you still can’t leave your first love with the FBI. You had to have known I’d find you. There’s no where you could have run where I would not find you, Henry Miller. You haven’t heard that name in awhile, have you?”

    His eyes flickered to Emma who only looked sad and confused. He wanted to tear off the tape and explain it all to her but that chance was lost. No doubt this monster would do it for him. 

    “Not even the FBI can hide one of their own forever. He pulled something out of his pocket and turned it over a few times in his hand before he showed Henry. 

    Henry felt sick. So he had been right. This monster had been inside his home. 

    “Name changes and locked doors won’t stop me and my mission in this life.”  He tossed Henry’s badge to the floor and walked up to a table in the middle. He picked up a small bottle with clear liquid and a syringe. Henry shuddered, not wanting to know the contents. He fought against his restraints to no use. 

    Emma whimpered.

    “Have you heard of Haloperidol, Agent Miller?”

    Henry’s breathing quickened as he breathed through his nose. 

    “It’s typically an antipsychotic drug used to treat a variety of illnesses but for you it will do the trick to keep you nice and uncomfortable during your stay. I’m optimistic that you’ll experience any number of the following…” He filled the syringe with the drudge and continued speaking as he walked over to Henry and injected the contents into his arm. “Motor restlessness, spasms or muscle contractions, muscle rigidity, hypotension, blurred vision, dry mouth, headache, and the like. I’m doubling your dose to ensure it.” 

    Emma cried out through her restraints. He wanted so desperately to put her at ease. He could handle the pain and discomfort. What he couldn’t handle was anything happening to her. 

    “And for you, Emma…” He walked over to her and stroked her cheek. 

    Henry pulled against his restraints.

    “While we let daddy get uncomfortable you and I are going to have a little chat.” 

    “I’m sure your father has told you that he isn’t your real father.”

    Henry’s mouth went dry and he knew it wasn’t from the drugs yet. No, it was the look of utter confusion and betrayal in Emma’s eyes as she searched his for truth. A tear ran down his cheek. 

    “Oh, he didn’t? I’m not sorry. Your mother died when you were four and it was after that you went into Mr.Miller’s guilt ridden care. He only took you in because he failed your mother and thought he could use you to get to me.”

    Henry fought with all his might. The lies spewing from the man’s mouth were agonizing to listen to and not be able to deny. 

    “And dear old Aunt Martha is just another Agent to keep tabs on you when Miller is off playing games with the FBI.” He walked back over to the table and lifted an already filled syringe and without delay or explanation he injected it into Emma’s arm.

Emma cried and Henry yelled through the tape. 

    “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt you but it will help me. Just a little something I whipped up years ago when I worked in a lab. Now I’ll leave you two to get used to the drugs. I’ll be back in a bit and we can get to the true work.” The man put down the syringe and left the room.

     Emma cried as she pulled against her restraints. 

    Henry tried calling her but she refused to look up. He was getting tired as time wore on, maybe half an hour passed and he felt the first spasm run through his left leg. The restless aches that followed were torturous. A splitting headache formed quickly and his vision was blurring. Overall he felt terrible. 

    The door opened and the man stepped back into the room. “How are we feeling, Mr.Miller.” He didn’t want to give the man the satisfaction of knowing the drugs were working but another powerful spasm radiated through his spine causing him to arch his back and groan. “Good. And what about you darling?”

    Emma lashed forward and the man chuckled. “Excellent.” 

    He picked up a recording device. “January 27th, 2019. Dr.Poblano reporting. Patient One is an adult male, thirty seven years of age. Given two injections of a high dose of Haloperidol thirty minutes ago. Results are muscle spasms - moving forward as expected. Patient two is an adolescent female. Sixteen years of age given my own concoction called ‘Dyprasiomalathoid’. Results are increased abbreviations. I’m pleased with the results so far. Moving onto phase two.” He placed the recorder back on the table and approached Emma. With one quick motion he ripped off her tape. She cried out and the skin around her mouth turned red. ‘I’m so sorry to have dropped the bomb on your life. I’m a man who seeks the truth unlike Mr.Miller.” 

    “Get away from me.”

    “Don’t you see, Emma? I’m here to help you! To release you to live your life with the truth!”

    “No, you're wrong!”

    “Am I?” He pulled out another recording device from his pocket. “Listen, Emma, and the truth will lead you.” He clicked play and laid it down.

    “June 17th, 2007. Agent Henry Miller please pick up where we left off yesterday regarding last week’s incident with Agent Kathryn Thompson.” 

    “I’ve told you already. She had her gun drawn on me! Either I shot her or she was going to shoot me!” 

    “So you shot her?”

    “Yes.”

    Poblarno clicked it off and the rage Henry felt overpowered the pain in his body. He returned to Emma and undid her wrist restraints. Emma looked so hurt and confused. “Kathryn was your mother, Emma. Henry admitted it himself that he shot and killed your mother.”

    “You never told me any of that. You said she died in a car accident!” 

    “That’s right, Emma. He lied to you then and he’s been lying to you ever since.”

    Henry shook his head, desperate to convey the truth to Emma but all he saw was anger in her eyes. 

    Poblarno saw it too. A wicked grin twisted his face. “Not many people have the opportunity for revenge, Emma. I want to help you.” He walked back to the table and removed a cloth that covered something. He picked it up and Henry instantly recognized his government issued sidearm. 

    Emma’s eyes went wide but she remained silent. 

    “Use this, Emma, and all your problems will disappear. No one will ever know.” He held the gun out to her and after a moment's pause she accepted it. “It’s all ready to go, Emma. just point and pull the trigger.”

    Henry pulled against the restraints but his body was tired and the zipties weren’t budging. He hated Poblarno. He hated himself. And as Emma’s eyes finally met his, he broke. He failed her mother and now he was failing her. If only he could reverse their roles! He would turn the gun on himself to spare her the betrayal. After all, it is what Kathryn had done. Yes he had shot her but only in the leg. She was still confused by the drugs Poblarno had given her and fired back. She shot him in the shoulder which sent him to the ground, his gun falling away from him. 

    Henry wept as the images replayed itself in his mind. 

    “You were never meant to save her, Henry. Either of them...only to deliver them to me.” Poblarno whispered in his ear. “They were always mine.”

    Henry remembered the pain and fear he felt as Kathryn stood over him, gun trained at his head. He begged her not to miss. He painfully watched the tears fall down her face as she warred against what was going on in her mind. Slowly she lifted the gun to her own head. 

    “I can’t do it.”

    “No, Kathryn.”

    “Take care of Emma.”

    He had dragged himself out of that warehouse bleeding but his heart hurt worse. Kathryn had been his partner for two years and he failed her. He had made it his life mission to honor her last request and take care of her little girl. And this man had undone it all.

Emma lifted a shaky hand, aiming the gun at him. He could see the fear and rage in her eyes and her lips tremble. She was still just a child and he wanted to comfort her. To tell her it was going to be okay. 

    Poblarno stood just behind him. “Go ahead, Emma. Kill him.”

    Her hand stopped shaking and her eyes turned to him, a fearsome confidence in them.

    He tried to smile to reassure her that there were no hard feelings. He didn’t blame her for succumbing to this madman’s game. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing and the erratic pace of his heart. 

    “No.”

    A shot rang out and Henry jumped. A searing pain ripped through the flesh on his head above his left ear. His ears were ringing. She did it. She actually shot him! He heard a thud and realized he was still alive and not in as much pain as he expected after being shot. He opened his eyes. 

    Emma was still pointing the gun towards him. Her eyes were wide and tears streaming down her face as she threw the gun to the floor and began scooching her chair closer to him. 

He glanced back and saw Poblarno bleeding out on the floor- dead. 

    “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She repeated over and over again. Finally she reached him, tears streaming down her face. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry.” He could feel the blood running down the side of his head. A painful price he would gladly pay a million times over. 

He mumbled through the tape and she pulled it off quickly. He gasped, glad to be able to breathe through his mouth again. 

    “I’m so sorry, daddy.”

    “No, Emma, no it’s okay. I’m sorry. I really am so so sorry.”

    She collapsed onto his chest and hugged him tightly. “I knew you didn’t kill her. I found the case file. I know what really happened.”

    “She was my best friend, Emma.”

    “I know.”

    “And I’ve loved you as my own.”

    “I know that too. There’s no doubt.”

    “I love you, Emma.”

    “I love you too, daddy.”

    He could hear sirens in the distance and knew help was on the way. 

    This nightmare was finally over. Now he could rest.